


World Enough, and Time

by Sea-Glass (PJ_Marvell)



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Azu snoozes, Established Relationship, F/M, Hamid frets, Lifespan Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJ_Marvell/pseuds/Sea-Glass
Summary: It comes down to time, in the end, and Hamid can feel it ticking away.
Relationships: Azu/Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39
Collections: Rusty Quill Gaming Exchange 2020





	World Enough, and Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miri1984](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miri1984/gifts).



Hamid doesn’t get many nights light this, containing nothing but him and Azu and the forgiving darkness. Technically speaking, he hasn’t even properly left Cel outside the bedroom door - he’d used one of their growth potions earlier in the evening and now he takes up almost the same length of the bed as Azu, as they lie feeling the sweat cool on their skin and their hearts return to the slow beat of almost-sleep.

Even with Cel’s help, Hamid is still small enough to tuck himself into the crook of Azu’s neck. He might be tall enough to look Azu in the eye now but he’s still smaller and slighter, still able to press himself into her and be lost. He’s slotted against her side, feeling the steady move of her chest as her breathing slows and she falls asleep. Hamid can feel his tiredness pulling at the edge of his eyes but he’s not quite ready to sleep yet.

It comes down to time, in the end, and Hamid can feel it ticking away.

He’d told himself for a long while that it was the hectic pace of their lives, the pressures on them with their new status of heroes and their new destinies as saviours. It didn’t leave them much space to just be them, to be Hamid and Azu and sit quietly in the feeling of being in love. The honeymoon period of their relationship has lasted months now, only their closest friends knowing, private moments together so fleeting that they’re still feeling this thing between them take shape.

That’s not it, though.

He knows he’s older than Azu, that halflings mature slower than orcs but that their ages are comparable and that they’re both young, a little sheltered and, barring the perils of their shared career, they have their whole lives before them.

And that’s the crux of the problem, right there. Hamid knows it’s ridiculous to be thinking about forever when they’re still finding out about each other, that he should be focussing on making sure their foundations are firm and that they’re set to build something strong and lasting. But  _ eternity  _ is a word that tightens the muscles in his temples because there’s a good chance that that’s how long he’ll live. Sorcerers are rare and draconic ones vanishingly so - Hamid’s got no idea what this means for him. And either way, one thing he does know is that Azu will be gone long before him and that’s already a thought he can’t stand.

So he says “I wish this could last forever,” and is rewarded as Azu hums in agreement, turning her head to press sleepy kisses into his hairline.

“I’m not sure Cel can make a potion that lasts that long,” she murmurs and the rasp in her voice from the late hour and her hushed tones sends a shudder across Hamid’s skin. He tightens his grip a little, just gently, where his hand lies on her shoulder. She’s warm and solid beneath his fingertips.  _ Permanent _ , he thinks, and the word sticks in his mind like a shard of bone in the back of his throat.

“I meant  _ this _ ,” he replies, his words slightly muffled where his smile is pressed against her collarbone. “Being together like this. Tonight.”  _ You _ , he adds in the sudden cacophony inside his head. Azu sighs and Hamid can’t read it, save for the way the breath funnels behind his ear and down the back of his neck. He wonders then, in a reckless moment, how long these memories will last, how long the texture of her skin or the thrum of her voice when her chest is pressed against his will sit crystalised in his mind. When will he look back, trying to recall, and find the sense-memory blurred. Or worse, gone entirely. Will there come a day when Azu will exist only in theory, in the golden light of half-remembered fantasy?

Will there come a day when he won’t remember her at all?

“There’s always another world to save,” she says, and it’s too dark for Hamid to judge whether the tiredness or the chuckle is ascendant.

Hamid feels his voice catch, feels everything in him whisper  _ no _ ; something dragonish awakes in him and demands he curls into and around her, let nothing touch her and keep her safe, his own hoard of one. It’s a selfish, cruel little impulse but Hamid feels himself beat with it for one too many slightly shaking breaths.

“Hamid?” asks Azu and Hamid can’t see her expression but recognises the tone. She knows, if not the depths of his sudden burst of feeling, at least that he’s having one. Hamid doesn’t have the words for the anticipatory fear and grief filling his lungs like brine.

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to stop?” he asks instead.

“It really depends,” she says after a long pause, voice even and understanding. “Is that something you want?”

“I don’t - I don’t know.” A lie. “But I want more time. Time with you, I mean.” The truth. “We’ve never had enough time to just be us, together. I want that.” He does want that - he wants, in his covetous dragonish way, not to share her with the world. He wants to be the button of her heart and the apple of her eye. But she’s a paladin - circumscribing her world like that would wither her.

“That’s a good thing to look forward to.” There’s a smile back in her voice. “What shall we do with this time, Hamid?”

“We could - oh, we could go to the Alps!” Memories of childhood skiing holidays fire in Hamid’s mind. “Or to the fjords in Norway - go and see the snow, see the views across the water.”

“I do miss the mountains.” There’s something dreamy in Azu’s voice and suddenly Hamid wishes they could transport themselves there, curl up in a cabin in furs, have long conversations in front of a fire.

“There’s this amazing place in Chamonix - a champagne bar that makes sorbet from the Mont Blanc snow.” Hamid still remembers the taste of it, so sweet and achingly cold. “We could go there after we were done skiing.”

“Hamid, I’ve never skied in my life!” Azu’s laughing before he’s halfway done with his sentence. “Is that the one with the sharp shoes and the frozen lake?”

“No, that’s ice-skating,” replies Hamid, giving her a glance of suspicion that only she will catch in the half-light.

“Skiing is the one with the planks down the side of a mountain?” There’s a teasing note in her voice now and Hamid knows for certain he’s being mocked.

“Yeah that’s the one.” Hamid grins foolishly into the dark - Azu isn’t one to tease and being gently dug at in private moments is one of his greatest privileges.

“No thank you. Last time I tried to do something acrobatic I fell out of a carriage.” Hamid feels the jolt of her giggle and is swept along, remembering the dusty road into Damascus. “You’d have drunk all the champagne by the time I got down off the mountain,” she continues, when next she can.

“No I wouldn’t!”   


“Oh, you’d save me some?” Azu’s voice pitches with exaggerated doubt.

“No, I’d come looking for you! I’d miss you.” Hamid presses a kiss to her chin, as gently and sincerely as he can as the sudden fear of immortality alone ghosts its claws across his lungs again.  _ I will miss you, so much, Azu. _

“Such a romantic.” Azu turns her head towards him and Hamid can hear the drowse in her voice, knows that if he stays quiet now she’ll sleep. He wants to give her a little shake, jolt her awake and continue weaving futures with her, as though if they spin enough imaginary days into the darkness they can push back tomorrow.  _ A little more time, _ he wants to whisper in her ear.  _ Spend a little more time here with me _ .

Instead Azu gently drifts into dreams as Hamid lies awake, eyes half-open to a night turning far too fast towards an unwanted dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> For Miri. Just 'cause.


End file.
